Teddy Bear Rap

Hey, hey, wassup! It’s Mr. Teddy Bear!
Don’t look through me like you don’t see me there.
You think just ‘cuz you’re a human being
A rapping teddy bear ain’t what you’re seeing?
Well guess what? I’ma gonna take your socks,
Gonnna mix’em up, fill’em up with rocks.
I’m gonna bust up all your good pens too
And make’em drier than the cakes you chew.
That’s right. You ain’t gonna sleep too well
‘Cuz I’m taking you down to teddy hell
Where your stuffing’s squeezed every night and day
‘Til you ain’t got no breath to even say
You got no time to play. Whatcha dreaming for?
Fool don’t even realize it’s tug of war
And life’s just a game ya see. So play with me
Or it’s game over, I can guarantee.

From Mr. Teddy’s unheard of album, “Teddy Rap Ain’t No Crap” (although I beg to differ).
Please address any comments to Mr. Teddy.

Written for We Drink Because We’re Poets Prompt: That’s a RAP.

68 thoughts on “Teddy Bear Rap

  1. I love it, it really made me laugh and that’s no crap.

    1. So glad it made you laugh! πŸ˜€

  2. Wow! Rapping Cubby…you rock! πŸ™‚

    1. It’s rapping Mr. Teddy! He wants full credit on this one.

      1. OKAY! And he’s a great rapper too and deserves his credit!

  3. hehehe top rap πŸ™‚ Nice one Teddy

    1. Mr. Teddy thanks you. He says to “keep it real”.

  4. I’m amazed–because I so Don’t like rap, but this was quite enjoyable. Must be that I don’t like the volume and ferocity and foul words in the other stuff. Great job.

    1. This is as fierce and foul as Mr. Teddy gets, and he thinks he’s pretty badass. He has no idea what he’s rapping about most of the time. I don’t even know if you can even call it rapping, but who am I to break his little teddy heart?

      1. Tell him I’m a fan!

  5. You are some kind of bear and all that on top of it.

    1. Mr. Teddy: Word. You know the flow of the bear bro and how it go.

  6. The flow, the rhythm of this just formed a whole mental video of the teddy bear rapping! I generally don’t like rap “music,” but I know there’s a lot of poetry hidden in the usual noise. This was quite enjoyable and amusing. Tell Mr. Teddy to pull up his pants and get a good agent.

    1. Mr. Teddy doesn’t wear any pants. He finds them cumbersome. He’s looking for a good agent right now but says they are not easy to find.

  7. Hey Mr Teddy you one bad ass dude
    you are bringin’ in some attitude
    I won’t be messin’ with you any time soon
    Want to keep my self singin’ my tune!

  8. Love your flavorful rhythm Mr. Teddy! Bring it on! Thanks for another link to a great site! Deborah

    1. Mr. Teddy: I bring it wherever I go. Much love and peace yo!

  9. When did Teddy become friends with “Chuckie”? — YUR

    1. Mr. Teddy: Yo, who the hell is Chuckie? You’re lucky I don’t come over there and make you all mucky.

  10. “Teddy hell” lol! πŸ˜›

    1. He thought it sounded cool. πŸ™‚

      1. Well, do be sure to pass along my compliments to him πŸ™‚

  11. awesome and super funny πŸ˜€ , great job πŸ˜‰ evil bear “D

    1. Mr. Teddy: You ain’t seen nothing yet. Ain’t no crime being evil in rhyme.

      1. hahah πŸ˜€ u r epic (Y) πŸ˜‰

  12. And I don’t usually do rap! πŸ™‚ x

    1. Teddy rap is a bit different…a lot of fluff.

      1. Fluffy and Cuddly. That could be the name of two kittens!x

  13. Well Mr Teddy, its a good rap but why are you dissing on your pal? What he ever do to you?

    1. Mr. Teddy: Hey girl! Who you think you be call dissin’? I ain’t dissin’ on my pal. My pal be dissin’ on me!

  14. That’s *bleeped* up, right there. My Teddy’s much nicer than all that business.

    1. Mr. Teddy: Don’t be hatin’. Love for all the teddies.

    2. Could we please leave the profanity out it. Thank you. πŸ™‚

  15. Hilarious! Nice rap. πŸ™‚

    1. Mr. Teddy says thanks and much love to his tiger cousin. πŸ™‚

  16. LMAO! LMAO! Standing ovation. I’m reading these aloud and I’m just like, “Wooooow!” That’s a Rap, Cubby. Indeed.

    1. Haha is it? That’s good to hear. Mr. Teddy will be very pleased. πŸ™‚

  17. inbetweenthemadness September 3, 2013 — 3:03 pm

    Thats brilliant Mr Teddy!! I wish there was a way i could send you some of my freestyle rap battles i take part in on a website…no rules apart from has to be freestyled…i would post them but they are pretty heavy on the swears…lol YOu would be good at them!! love the album name

    Yo! Yo! Check it Mr T
    I am here to rap, do you want a piece of me
    You may be hairy and you can drop a rhyme
    but hope you aint believing they are half as good as mine
    cos when i wax lyrical
    i aint satirical
    If you wanna beat me you gonna need to get a miracle

    So i will leave this in your comment and look forward to a reply
    unless this little teddy just wants to say “goodbye”


    1. Well since you went there, you gone and done it,
      I had to bring it and you know I brung it.
      Now Mr. Teddy Bear’s back in the house
      And ain’t no squeaky geeky Mickey Mouse.
      I don’t go wearing red suspender straps
      Like an Urkel bear of gangsta raps.
      You’re darn right I’m a friggin’ hairy beast
      Shouldn’t surprise you in the very least
      ‘Cuz I can get down with the G.I. Joes
      And don’t shop for naughty Barbie clothes.
      I got much love for all my stuffy peeps
      Who don’t care about no fashion leaps.
      I don’t pretend to be as good as you
      ‘Cuz I’m a miracle in every zoo
      So you can go play with all those bears that care
      For I’m the only Mr. Teddy Bear.

      1. inbetweenthemadness September 3, 2013 — 6:32 pm

        Haha brilliant…i wont come back as my raps are normally battle raps and work on insults lmao and i cant insult a bear!! Brilliant stuff! πŸ˜€

        1. Haha no, insulting a stuffed teddy bear would be like eating your pillow…pointless and fluffy. πŸ™‚

          1. inbetweenthemadness September 4, 2013 — 5:21 am

            and get me “down in the mouth” haha

  18. The world’s only teddy rap, quite possibly! Loved it. (:

    1. Mr. Teddy says you he will not mess with your socks because you “feel” him.

  19. love me some Mr. T!
    made me run and hide my socks all sighed
    knowing they are doomed they rolled and tried
    to hide in my shoes, but caught there they cried
    as Mr. Teddy Bear tugged ’em open wide
    as he laughed and made sock puppets he totally lied
    then he stuffed ’em in chicken and ate ’em deep fried

    1. ROFL I can’t believe you made Mr. Teddy eat deep-fried chicken socks! No wonder he was whining about a tummy ache! πŸ˜›

      1. lol πŸ™‚ glad to help!

  20. Never going to look at teddies the same way again, so funny πŸ™‚ Great rap Cubby!

    1. Teddies have unique personalities that manifest the more you pay attention to them.

      Mr. Teddy says Cubby is a silly cat who doesn’t know how to rap and that it was ALL him. He thanks you for the misdirected compliment.

  21. Mr Teddy bear…got it going on πŸ˜€ Such a cool idea, and too funny!

    1. Mr. Teddy: Who you callin’ an idea? You callin’ me an idea? I’m as real as they come. Word.

      1. LMAO!! I apologise Mr Teddy Bear – you are the dopest teddy around!

  22. Mr. Teddy,

    I can feel ya bro… Word!

    1. Mr. Teddy: My girl Mel know how it flow! Much love to ya. Word!

  23. Cubby!! OH my how cool is that?! I read it out loud twice, it was that much fun:) You have, by far the most eclectic repertoire in writing…and you are amazing in all!! Bravo, mon amie, petit chaton qui fait rond rond πŸ™‚

    1. Haha, I’m glad you liked it. I wasn’t sure how well it would turn out lol. πŸ™‚

  24. Reblogged this on allzil and commented:
    So fun. So indulgent. I’m gonna find a teddy bear to write a rap about (or abuse!). πŸ˜€

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