Songs in Minor (Villanelle)

Songs in minor key, strings of a guitar
Will weave a melody of tears that we
Cry at the fading of a brilliant star.

When we were young, we tried to use a jar
To capture light in bright notes of the sea,
Songs in minor key, strings of a guitar,

Like waves of darkness coming from afar,
Would let us hear the winds in harmony
Cry at the fading of a brilliant star.

Trapped deep within the frame of every bar
Swell up and down each tearful memory,
Songs in minor key, strings of a guitar

Stitch somber chords and leave an angry scar,
While drowning in the sky, I shamelessly
Cry at the fading of a brilliant star.

It does not matter who or what you are,
You’ll hear the earth cry when it sets you free
Songs in minor key, strings of a guitar,
Cry at the fading of a brilliant star.

52 thoughts on “Songs in Minor (Villanelle)

  1. So beautiful Sonya! I love Villanelle but rhytym is not my strong point and rhymes need a nice seamless flow. You are a master of rhyme!

    1. It was rather tricky but quite fun. I am so glad you liked it. Very much appreciate your kind words. πŸ™‚

  2. Brilliantly done! You’ve the heart and soul of a troubadour!

    1. The next post will be the challenge post with instructions and an example. It is a rather tricky form, so I want to make it as clear as possible. Glad you liked this one. πŸ™‚

      1. Very well done…the trick is not so much in the rhyme, but the two refrains. I’ll be looking forward to your challenge post πŸ˜‰

  3. keep going you are brilliant

    1. According to my poem, we are all brilliant. πŸ™‚

      1. http://acollectionofwriting.wordpress.com/ the page is running going to have a separate one for my pictures.

        1. Sounds wonderful. I was just at your writing one and thought it looked fantastic. πŸ™‚

  4. Read like a minstrel’s tune, masterfully done Cubby!

    1. A minstrel would be a wonderful thing to be! Now if only I could sing and play an instrument well… πŸ™‚

  5. wonderful Villanella., well done.
    groetjes, Francina

    1. Thank you very kindly. πŸ™‚

  6. Not sure about the earth crying when it sets me free. I suspect it might just blow a raspberry…

    1. For you, just possibly. πŸ˜›

  7. Very beautiful, I adore villanele,but have not yet dared to try and reading fabulous poems like yours make me wanna just take my hat of to you and bow.
    If you don;t mind me saying, I read this outloud, and it seemed to me that this part:”Stitching up the pain but leaving a scar,” was a bit out of the rhytm, it was a bit harder for me to read it compared to the rest of the poem. Hope you don’t mind me saying, the poem is still very fabulous!This was my favourite sentence:”Songs in minor key, strings of a guitar,”

    1. Hmm, I was trying to purposefully break up the rhythm as I thought it might be too monotonous as I have been advised against this, but this line was also really bugging me. Therefore, I have changed it. I am so happy you let me know what you like and what you do not as I tend to second-guess myself when I think someone is making a valid point. πŸ™‚

  8. And I thought the ghazal was hard…Nicely done!

    1. There’s a challenge coming up tomorrow. πŸ˜‰

  9. Nicely done! I also love villanelles. Here’s one of mine, which I posted on my blog, if you are interested to read it. I strongly prefer rhymed and structured poetry over free verse, as I gather you do as well!

    Untangling: A Villanelle | A Bringer of New Things
    https://abringerofnewthings.wordpress.com/2013/08/27/untangling-a-villanelle/

    1. It is very lovely. I find rhyme and structure to be very soothing to my mind, and I am glad there are others who still enjoy writing and reading traditional verse. πŸ™‚

  10. Awesome words, awesome rhythm, awesome all the way around!

    1. Ah, so glad you thought so! Thank you so much! πŸ™‚

  11. Very nice. I’ve recently read a few villanelles and have been drawn to the form. I’ll have to give it a try. You make it look easy, though I know it’s difficult. Just lovely.

    1. I will be posting a challenge tomorrow with instructions and an example which will hopefully make it easier to write if you choose to do so. πŸ™‚

  12. very pretty Cubby, and bittersweet. well done! πŸ™‚

  13. Love the whole piece– so very musical– wonderful images, too.

    1. Thank you kindly. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. πŸ™‚

  14. Fabulous job on this–love it!!

  15. This is one of your best. I should go on, but I won’t. It dwarves the on I wrote not to long ago. Bravo.

    1. I loved the villanelle that you wrote. I thought it was very beautiful. If you don’t mind, may I post and/or link it on the challenge blog?

      1. Of course

  16. This is absolutely beautiful and dreamy. Love it!

    1. That makes me super happy you think so! πŸ™‚

  17. Lovely and fluid and musical. Adore this one!

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed this! πŸ™‚

  18. It is a challenging form but I enjoyed it when I tried my hand at it..

  19. This is brilliant… !

    1. I’m so glad you think so! πŸ™‚

  20. Beautiful, Cubby! You truly have a gift for writing poetry!

    1. Ah, that is what I think of your writing as well. πŸ™‚

      1. Thank you! πŸ™‚

  21. Reblogged this on The Iridescent Bubble and commented:
    Great Villanelle!

  22. Beautiful πŸ™‚

  23. It has a flowing rhythm, like the swelling of the sea. I love reading your poems.

    1. Thank you, that is such a lovely thing to say. I am so glad you enjoy reading my poems. πŸ™‚

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