When the Mountains: A Zanze and a Challenge

When the mountains impale the sky,
They rupture the veins in the clouds
And colors explode with a sigh
While wrapping the heaven in shrouds.

When the mountains impale
The malevolent winds,
They sink fast with a wail
Like a shark with no fins.

When the mountains
All roar with pride,
Lava fountains
Erupt inside.

When the
Clouds start to cry,
Rain falls down with a “shhuh,”
When the mountains impale the sky.

2019 © Sonya Annita Song

For a more cohesive example of this form, please read Steven R. Robertson’s poem, “Yet Far Off (Zanze).”  Thank you, Steven, for inspiring me to attempt the Zanze.

The Challenge

Instructions on writing a Zanze:

  1. There are a total of 16 lines:
    • The 1st and 16th lines repeat.
  2. The rhyme scheme is Abab cdcd efef gagA.
    • The capital A represents the repeating 1st and 16th lines.
  3. There are four quatrains (four-line stanzas).  Syllables per line are as follows:
    • 8-8-8-8
    • 6-6-6-6
    • 4-4-4-4
    • 2-4-6-8
  4. Line 5 is the first 6 syllables of line 1.
  5. Line 9 is the first 4 syllables of line 1.
  6. Line 13 is the first 2 syllables of line 1.

Next I will highlight the patterns:

When the mountains impale the sky,
They rupture the veins in the clouds
And colors explode with a sigh
While wrapping the heaven in shrouds.

When the mountains impale
The malevolent winds,
They sink fast with a wail
Like a shark with no fins.

When the mountains
All roar with pride,
Lava fountains
Erupt inside.

When the
Clouds start to cry,
Rain falls down with a “shhuh,”
When the mountains impale the sky.

For the non-rhymers out there, the challenge would be the same without the rhyming: Lines 1 and 16 repeat; four quatrains with [8-8-8-8, 6-6-6-6, 4-4-4-4, 2-4-6-8] syllable counts; and lines 5, 9, and 13  being the first 6, 4, and 2 syllables of the first line, respectively.  We will call this form “Zanze Freestyle.”

Now it’s your turn to give it a whirl!  Don’t worry about being perfect and just have fun.  Your poems will be added to the challenge post along with the links to your blog and poem.

If you like what you read, please follow the link in the title and “like” it there too. 🙂
____________________________________________________________________________

(Freeform) Zanze: Fearless

Fearless, I walk towards my fate.
Feeling like a person condemned,
To exist, but never to live
Every step forwards a struggle

Fearless I walk towards
An as yet undefined
Future without action
Is reactive living

Fearless I walk
And with each step
I am closer
To an ending

Fearless
My life, so far,
Nought but a memory
Which will be recorded, or lost.

2019 © DSCoremans
__________________________________________________________________

Zanze:  Fearless II

Fearless I walk towards my fate,
My destination is unknown.
Decisions often made too late,
Create actions hard to atone.

Fearless I walk towards
A decisive moment,
Cutting as though with swords,
The chance at bestowment.

Fearless I walk,
Though I should run
From those who talk,
And hurt someone.

Fearless,
I am alone.
I find myself, peerless,
My experience is my own.

2019 © DSCoremans
__________________________________________________________________

Blog: NobbinBlog

Perhaps

Maybe you’re made for me and we
Maybe I’m a fool to have hope
Maybe you will love me only
Maybe pretending helps me cope

Maybe you’re made for me
Maybe it’s in my mind
Maybe we’re meant to be
Maybe you won’t be mine

Maybe you’re made
to break my heart
Maybe I’ve played
for you no part

Maybe
I’ll live lonely
Maybe we’ll be happy
Maybe you’re made for me and we

2019 © Nobbinmaug
__________________________________________________________________

Blog: NobbinBlog

Debra

I’m looking for my friend Debra
I cannot find her anywhere
I last saw her on my zebra*
She has taken my teddy bear

I’m looking for my friend
I fear she’s in distress
She is dressed as a hen
She has made quite a mess

I’m looking for
My friend Debra
Please, don’t ignore
The red zebra

I’m… Look,
Purple zebra*
She has stolen my book
I’m looking for my friend Debra

2019 © Nobbinmaug

*zebra pronounced like Debra with a “z”
__________________________________________________________________

64 thoughts on “When the Mountains: A Zanze and a Challenge

  1. I think I’ve met the mistress of rhyme 🙂

    1. As long as I’m not the “butcher of rhyme” 🙂

        1. The Queen Butcher…nothing with Queen in front sounds as bad 🤔

          1. Pretend this is a heart…..:) My little keyboard is frozen LOL btw where do you live?

              1. Where in Canada? 😂 I’m in TO

                  1. Oh ok cool. Cool here too lol

                    1. The sky was a bright orange a few minutes ago. Beautiful! But I wax poetic 😊

  2. Wow this is extraordinary Cubby what a masterpiece beautifully written.☺️

    1. Aw, you overindulge my whiskers. Many kind thanks. 🙂

      1. You’re most welcome and thank you again.☺️

      1. No!! Just calling it as I see it 😊

  3. I adored this poem, and having never come across this style of poetry before couldn’t keep my hands off of it.

    I’ve included my first attempt, but will likely have a go again and try to use the rhyming structure this time. Have a great day. =)

    (Freeform) Zanze: Fearless
    By DS Coremans

    Fearless, I walk towards my fate.
    Feeling like a person condemned,
    To exist, but never to live
    Every step forwards a struggle

    Fearless I walk towards
    An as yet undefined
    Future without action
    Is reactive living

    Fearless I walk
    And with each step
    I am closer
    To an ending

    Fearless
    My life, so far,
    Nought but a memory
    Which will be recorded, or lost.

    1. You wrote this beautifully fearlessly as well. Love it. 🙂

  4. Oh, hell, Cubby, I can’t even write a simple iambic pentameter right now, and I DEFINITELY cannot even bring my brain cells together at 6 a.m. to write a Zanze.Kudos to you, though, for your excellent example. I printed it out along with the instructions….no promises if I will EVER attempt one, though.

    1. No promises, gotcha. *whiskers twitch excitedly*

  5. Okay, this time with rhymes 😉

    Zanze: Fearless II
    By DS Coremans

    Fearless I walk towards my fate,
    My destination is unknown.
    Decisions often made too late,
    Create actions hard to atone.

    Fearless I walk towards
    A decisive moment,
    Cutting as though with swords,
    The chance at bestowment.

    Fearless I walk,
    Though I should run
    From those who talk,
    And hurt someone.

    Fearless,
    I am alone.
    I find myself, peerless,
    My experience is my own.

    2019 ©DSCoremans

    1. Wow, that was an effortless read. I think you can take over hosting this challenge now lol. 🙂

  6. Beautiful images. The poem brings me much peace.

    1. Many kind thanks. I’m glad it brought you peace. 🙂

  7. This is excellent. The first stanza especially stuck with me, had to tell you that it is magnifico! 😊

    1. Thanks Johnny. I actually almost stopped after the first stanza because I thought “well, it’s all downhill from here!” 🧐

      1. I do that a lot. Sometimes the inspiration pours out in four lines. This is a great work all the way through though.

        1. Lol that’s okay. I know the truth 😉

  8. Great work. But I seem lost😭

    1. I am so sorry for confusing you. 😦

      1. I’d definitely try this out. Thanks a million!😊

        1. Please let me know if there is anything I can clarify.

  9. This is so wonderful, Cubby! Kudos to your creativity! 😊💖

    1. Hehe it was rather clunky but thankfully my readers are gracious. 🙂

  10. Wow fascinating. Thanks for the explanation

  11. Very powerful poetry, I love it!

  12. I love this part:

    “When the mountains
    All roar with pride,
    Lava fountains
    Erupt inside.”

    That’s awesome. The whole thing is awesome, but that quatrain captures the power of Earth.

    You know I love these challenges. I can’t wait to try this one. I guess I can wait since this was posted three days ago. I am way behind on my blog emails. Does the last quatrain have to be Lady Gaga related?

    1. This was not a popular challenge lol. I guess my example wasn’t very inspiring hehe. Ah well. I will be looking forward to your response to it! And no, the last quatrain doesn’t have to be Lady Gaga related lol. 🙂

      1. I think you made yours too good. You scared away the other potential participants. I’m not smart enough to be scared away. Response to my posts has been down the last few days, too. Are you as solipsistic as me? Maybe we’re missing something.

        1. You wax hyperbolic. And you are plenty smart, which proves my previous point. I am not solipsistic; however, I can see the appeal. 🙂

          1. Hyperbolic/hyperbole, another of my favorite words. Solipsistic, too. I am such a nerd.

            I don’t think I’m going to get to this today. I’m going to lay out the Gaga rhyme scheme and see if it sparks anything.

  13. Cubby, my dear, what should I call you? Cubby? Cubs? Sonya? My Dear? Poetry Princess? Guru? Sensei?

    People didn’t play along because this is complicated. There’s a lot of math, and it’s almost a palindrome. I finally found a start that worked. I quickly abandoned the Lady Gaga theme. That’s usually the hard part for me. Not this time. I’ve had to restart thrice because I keep realizing I broke a rule. Even when I said your poem was awesome, I didn’t realize how awesome it is. How long did it take you? How many times did you have to fix something? We’re not all as poetically profound or prolific as you.

    That said, I love it. I love the challenge. This is the best one yet. I will solve this Rubik’s poem. I’m going to keep twisting till all the rhymes match. Maybe Russian nesting doll is a better analogy. There’s a rhyme within a rhyme as it keeps getting smaller. I love puzzles, words, and I even like math sometimes. I love it. Excellent challenge, my friend.

    1. Err, you can call me Cubby, Cubs, or Sonya.

      As for the challenge, it is definitely a little tricky, but that’s what makes it fun! I had to make up a word, “Shhuh,” in order to rhyme it with “the,” but that is completely within the rules.

      I’m really happy you’re enjoying the challenge so much. The Russian nesting doll analogy describes the form perfectly. I am really looking forward to reading your zanze! 🙂

      1. I’m looking forward to reading it, too. I hope it’s good.

        By the way, my friend bought your book for her niece. Amazon says it’s not avaliable until February 1st. I hope that’s a good sign. They’re selling faster than they can restock.

        1. Lol I’m sure your zanze will be great!

          And I really appreciate the sale you made for me. Amazon is refusing to change the sale date from February 1st to January 7th like I requested, so that is the only reason the book is showing as available on February 1st. I had wanted to officially launch earlier, but now I’m stuck waiting.

          1. I’m happy to help, even if it’s just a little tiny bit. We’re blog buddies. We have to look out for each other. Only 999 more sales to break even. So, your book’s not even released yet? I didn’t realize that. Or is that just on Amazon?

            1. It’s just Amazon. It is available at Barnes & Noble. But Amazon is huge.

              1. Amazon? I think I’ve heard of it. I have a joke in one of my vignettes that Amazon.com is elected president of the world. It delivers on its promises, usually in only two days.

                Yeah, Amazon’s pretty big. Barnes & Noble’s not bad. Having your book in Barnes & Noble is exciting. The only way I get my books in Barnes & Noble is when I used to hang out in the café to write.

                1. Ah, it’s only available online, not actually physically in stores. Their shelf space is reserved for the big guys.

                  As you already most likely know, it is very easy to self-publish. The real challenge is the marketing that comes after.

                  I want to buy a copy of your book when it comes out. 🙂

                  1. What kind of marketing are you doing? Are you head of marketing at Chinchilla Books? Have you done any in-store book signings? Barnes & Noble loves that. They give authors special displays and make big signs. I have no idea how to set that up, but I’ve seen it.

                    Thank you. I don’t know if that will ever happen. I’m working on a new book. It’s an epistolary novel. It’s a collection of my rejection letters. Did you do this whole agent petitioning thing before self-publishing? Somebody told me Jack London was rejected 100 times before he was published. I’m holding onto that. That’s tenacity.

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