Hand in Hand (Ghazal)

Please try to understand this:
My life, you don’t command this.

I love you, but there’s one thing –
Control, I can’t withstand this.

If caged my soul will wither,
So faith, I must demand this.

If you don’t try to change me,
My heart to you I’ll hand this.

Our lives have been entangled,
No way we could have planned this.

Let’s trust in one another
And love – we will expand this.

Note: A ghazal is a traditional poetic form developed in Persia. I was introduced to it by the lovely Bastet, who was herself reminded of it by T.J. Theiren.

44 thoughts on “Hand in Hand (Ghazal)

  1. Oh…you’ve done a Ghazal! Fantastic and very well executed!

    1. Haha thanks. The different rhyming forms are so wonderful to learn. 🙂

      1. I agree…I’m hoping to sit back an rhyme…probably not today though, been at the computer all morning…sigh.

  2. Reblogged this on Amanda's Words / starfire8me and commented:
    know the feeling..

  3. I understand these sentiments. I have controlling people in my life, and I love them unconditionally but must stand up to them to preserve healthy boundaries.

    1. Yes, I also believe that healthy boundaries are required for healthy relationships.

  4. The human heart and freedom are essential for true happiness with another. You have initiated a response from your valued readership, as well as your depth of substance (soul), has created for myself a valuable lesson…we are inherently at our worst when we attempt to control another life. And, for a woman to “hand her heart,” to a man, requires much trust and perfect love. What a beautiful Ghazal! Thank you for the privilege!

    1. And thank you for such a kind and thoughtful comment. It gladdens my heart to know that my words can be felt so strongly by my readers. 🙂

  5. I admire poets who stretch their expertise by trying new forms. To me, it becomes a chore if I have to think outside my own comfortable rut. Regardless of form, the words are heartfelt as always, and a powerful message. Good write!

    1. I like a nice comfortable rut. My stretch unfortunately does not extend beyond rhyming forms. As long as my readers are not disappointed by this, I will rhyme to my heart’s content. 🙂

  6. Nice one…people and cats need to be free, right Cubby?

  7. Your words make me think of those who try to mend relationships that are broken. It’s quite well done and provocative at the same time. nicely done.

  8. Nice, drawing the line in the sand as some say.

    1. You have to draw it pretty hard and deep for some people to get the message. 🙂

  9. When you say I do….do let me be free!

    1. Yes! The essence in a nutshell. 🙂

  10. Cubby, thanks for the link on how to write Ghazal. I have never studied poetry or writing so I am always grateful for ways to learn something new. In Christ, Deborah

    1. You’re very welcome. I hope you discover some delightful new things! 🙂

  11. Very cool. Thanks for the links to better understand the form. I was unfamiliar with it. I love yours!

    1. Glad you enjoyed mine! It is not a form I had ever heard of either until stumbling across it on a fellow writer’s blog. 🙂

  12. Very nice…I had to learn this the hard way.

  13. I too enjoy experimenting with new forms–I may have to give this a try; great job.

  14. Shards Of DuBois August 31, 2013 — 8:49 pm

    very nice poem, I’ve done this before, but didn’t know it had a name…lol like 3 or 4 of ur followers said they want to try this…why don’t you make it a challenge, and we’ll all post ours here…and see what we all come up with?? 🙂

    1. That is a wonderful idea and I have done as you suggested! 🙂

  15. This is a tremendously difficult form to use, and you’ve done it very well — great job! 🙂

    1. The encouragement is much appreciated. There is still loads of room for improvement, but it’s all about just having fun with new forms. 🙂

      1. Amen! That’s the best part — enjoying the exercise!

        1. Mind if I link the ghazal I found on your blog? Or even re-post it with a link?

          1. Sure — that would be fine 🙂

            I could add the link to your ghazal, too, within my own post. Would that be okay?

            We ghazal-ophiles need to stick together 😉

            1. I just added your hauntingly beautiful ghazal to the challenge post. Thank you so much for sharing your work here! 🙂

              1. Thank you for your invitation! 🙂

                And especially — thank you for your encouragement. 😀

  16. ah beautiful! really enjoyed this. thank you 🙂

  17. these are awesome! VERY difficult…hahaha just posted mine 🙂

    1. Nice! Can I re-post it here with a link? Or I can just post the link to your post if you prefer.

  18. You do set a challenge.. It seems like fun

    1. Yes, it is fun as long as you don’t take it too seriously. 🙂

  19. So good…may have to try this form 🙂

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