My Partner

The partner that I have right now
I did not have in mind.
He’s strict and unrelenting,
The most insidious kind.
The start was quite innocuous,
A consciousness each day,
But then he felt so burdensome
And heavily he weighed.

And soon I feared to hang around
The company of friends
Who never seemed to understand
And failed to comprehend.
I had to keep defending him,
“He’s really not that bad,”
And beg the people who found out,
“Don’t tell my mom and dad.”

He didn’t like it when I ate
And constantly would groan,
While he became a bloated pig
And sat upon his throne.
But now I am too weak to stand,
I’m scared and all alone;
Disorder will keep eating me
‘Til nothing’s left but bone.

2013 Β© Sonya Annita Song

45 thoughts on “My Partner

  1. Oh dear you better go eat! Very good one!

    1. Hehe, don’t worry, I don’t have an eating disorder right now. But I will take your suggestion and go eat something. πŸ™‚

      1. Yes I just ate and it is a good thing! You would love it being a cat! Home made tuna salad with eggs.

        1. Mmm, that does sound yummy. I like tuna. Reowr!

  2. I think I might have anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I see a fat person looking back.

    1. Stop looking in convex mirrors.

      1. Actually I think it might be the bloke in the house at the back. Whoever it is he’s got a pair of binoculars.

        1. Sounds like you have a peeper. Maybe you should keep your curtains or blinds closed.

          1. Not much point. Somehow he keeps managing to get in the bathroom with me.

            1. Take comfort in the fact that you would outlive someone without a bit of extra cushion if you were both stuck on a deserted island and sucked at gathering and hunting for food.

              1. I’d probably eat them before I ate the local fruit.

                1. You may be the last man standing on this earth.

  3. Really nice! I can relate to this, not that I have an eating disorder, but I do have an unrelenting consciousness. I kind of personified those shitty feelings in parts in my post about depression.

    1. I think personifying things like eating disorders and depression allows a person to feel like these negative forces are actually separate entities from themselves and therefore something that can be excised, rather than something to be defined by as inextricably linked to the fiber of their being. It seems like you understand this also. Glad you liked the poem. πŸ™‚

      1. I love your take on that. It is a very interesting point and you expressed it beautifully.

  4. Ring ring …. Hello Dominos Pizza can I help you? ;-P x

    1. Man, I really am hungry, and now I really do want pizza but it’s 10:02 a.m. over here. Guess I’ll go eat whatever’s in the fridge. πŸ˜›

  5. Hell… I’d sell him if I were you, but I don’t think you’d get 2 cents for him.

  6. EntangledDesigns January 7, 2019 — 6:13 am

    I think this one is my favorite of all the your poems I have read so far which doesn’t include most of your work so I think my pick will easily get challenged as soon as I start sitting through your archives because you’re that good! πŸ˜„

    1. This is something you can either relate to or not. If you’ve never experienced it, then it will likely not make much sense. Then again, some people are just incredibly empathetic. Glad you enjoyed this one.

      1. EntangledDesigns January 7, 2019 — 6:46 am

        I have never experienced body dysmorphia but I have had to deal with changing my negative feelings toward my “imperfections”. Because that’s what I was always told. That there is a perfect way to be and I, like every woman who is not a magazine cover, needs to aspire to become like that. So yes, I can relate to it in a personal way. But more than that, I can understand the damages it causes because I have read personal testimonials of women who actually did have body dysmorphia. Who did go through extreme lengths just to find some sense of acceptance not only in society but also in their own mind. That’s what made this one hit harder for me, personally. I have seen casualties of this problem among my own friends and family. It has always been heartbreaking regardless of who goes through it.

        1. It is impossible to grow up as a female and not be subject to our culture’s ideals and perceptions of beauty, and it is natural for females to long to meet those societal standards of beauty. And yet how unnatural those standards are. I understand how hard it is to struggle with yourself and learn how to accept yourself, and I am still struggling even to this day to accept certain aspects of myself. It is unfortunate that the pressure to conform outweighs the value of self-acceptance, but I hope things will get better as more people realize that beauty is not defined by perfect symmetrical features, dazzling white teeth, and impossible body proportions.

          1. EntangledDesigns January 7, 2019 — 7:06 am

            I agree. It’s much harder to be a female and not be affected by ridiculous ideals of beauty. I am too cynical to hope that any significant change will happen in my lifetime. But that does not mean we should stop raising our voices. Hell, I am all for creating a ruckus through mine. πŸ˜„

            1. Lol more people need to be raising their voices πŸ™‚

              1. EntangledDesigns January 7, 2019 — 7:39 am

                True that! πŸ™‚

      2. EntangledDesigns January 7, 2019 — 6:48 am

        I am so sorry for the typos… I squarely put the blame on my stupid phone’s stupid autocorrect system. Love and light to you! πŸ’•

  7. Oh my God this was my partner! AMD my life for a very long time. Whew, I’m glad that’s over with.
    Good luck to you my friend.

    1. I fished this comment out of my spam box. I have no idea how it ended up in there. Definitely not a good partner to have. I’m glad you’ve moved on! πŸ™‚

      1. Hmm, I wonder how that got in there.
        Yeah, me too.

  8. Archangel White Wolf January 7, 2019 — 6:29 am

    Wonderfully written Cubby the words flow amazingly well and I hope you’re ok.☺️

    1. Yes, I didn’t mean to alarm anyone. This particular partner has long been gone, although I remain a little vigilant due to perfectionistic and obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

      1. Archangel White Wolf January 7, 2019 — 6:36 am

        I’m glad to hear that partner is gone but I can perfectly understand why you remain vigilant and it was a wonderfully written piece you told the story very well.

          1. Archangel White Wolf January 7, 2019 — 6:52 am

            You’re most welcome anytime.☺️

    1. I thought it was appropriate. Thank you. πŸ™‚

  9. leave, darlin

    1. And never come back. πŸ™‚

  10. oh…my…very deeply written and powerful poem.

    1. Thank you for your kind words.

  11. What an expression. Time to ditch that partner. The end was out of the world. ❀️

    1. Thank you. That’s very kind of you. πŸ™‚

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